A lot of people, both men and women, still think of menstrual blood as dirty or smelly, and there are probably sanitary napkins with a built-in deodorant, adding to the unfortunate perception. Just calling then “sanitary" napkins reminds us of an open wound or of something vulnerable and unclean. True, if a woman wears a pad all day or leaves her tampon in tto long (we have all heard of “toxic shock syndrom") bacterial will grow . . . hence an odor will result. However, when the blood flows out freely, it is relatively free of offensive odor or taste.
I am told that, contrary to what I remember my mother telling my sister, a woman can take a bath during her period and that the bleeding actually might temporarily stop when she is immersed in water. I have also been told that when a woman is sexually aroused, the flow will diminish, but the uterine contractions of an orgasm will speed up the flow and even shorten the period.
I have talked with a whole lot of women who state that they reach their sexual peak during their period, probably related to the hormonal changes involved. Some also claim to have their most intense orgasms during their periods. This is probably tied in with the increased blood flow and swelling within the genital area. I also had talked with a lot of women who have discovered that an orgasm will relieve their menstrual cramping. When a woman experiences orgasm her pelvic floor muscles (PC Muscles) contract, but so does her uterus. These uterine contractions are probably like an athlete “working out" the pain of a cramped muscle.
There seem to be some good reasons why sexual stimulation and orgasm might be desirable for those menstruating women who can get beyond old notions about the dreaded "curse." Unfortunately, however, a lot of men also have an aversion to touching a woman during her menstrual period. Men seem to panic when they see blood on their penis . . . some would say it stirs up old “castration anxiety." However, there is no reason why intercourse needs to be avoided during this time in a woman’s cycle. A lot of men prefer wearing a condom when intercourse is mutually desired during the woman’s menstrual period. Since blood is not always the best lubricant, and the vaginal canal might be a bit swollen, at times it helps to use an artificial lubricant like Astroglide or Slippery Stuff.
Some couples prefer to have the woman insert her diaphragm to temporarily trap the blood. There are also over-the-counter Diva Cups that fit low, near the vaginal opening, and catch most of the blood. These must be removed for intercourse and are not sold for birth control purposes.
What about cunnilingus during menstruation? A creative couple need not put cunnilingus off limits during a menstrual period. If a woman has bathed, her vulva will be fresh and clean. Douching is not recommended. A diaphragm or cup can help, especially during days of light flow. She can also insert a clean tampon, and there should be no reason why a man cannot lick all around the string, including her sensitive clitoris. Now might not be the best time of the month for a woman to sit on a man’s face. There would be less downward flow if she is on her back with hips elevated. Of course, if intercourse follows the tampon must be removed before penetration.
For the really squeamish, there is always plastic wrap or a
dental dam that can be stretched over the genital area. So, cover her genitals! It might help to first lubricate the vulva well
with a safe artificial lubricant.
Bottom line, however, is that each couple must do what they are most comfortable with. Just because some will not hesitate engaging in oral sex or intercourse during a menstrual period does not mean that everyone will be equally comfortable doing so.
- Go here for a collection of informative articles on Female Orgasm
- Go here for a summary of resources for women
- Go here for the basics of female sexual anatomy
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ACS Certified Sexologist
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