• First Edition of IMPROPER LIMERICKS
• Revised and Expanded Edition of IMPROPER LIMERICKS
• Slightly damaged Revised Edition
• MORE IMPROPER LIMERICKS
• STILL MORE IMPOROPER LIMERICKS
• LIMERICKS FOR LECHERS
• Special offers on the Limericks books

IMPROPER LIMERICKS:
An Original Bawdy Collection

Dr. Birch expresses his open and playful nature in the collection of his own original "dirty" limericks. The 4" X 8" book, revised and expanded version, numbers 200 pages and presents over 150 limericks, touching on a wide range of human erotic attraction and sexual expression. Political correctness is put aside as Dr. Birch puts his words to rhyme. This book is an ideal gag gift, party favor, stocking stuffer or coffee table conversation starter. Put it in your bathroom and listen for the giggles coming from guests using your facilities!

From the book comes this gem, sure to be appreciated by many internet surfers:

On the internet they found romance,
That put both in a hot sexual trance,
            But each had a gripe,
            About having to type,
With a hand stuck down into their pants.

Sexuality counselor Cynthia Lief Ruberg describes the book as "A must for those who believe sexuality should be fun."

Joyologist Steve Wilson says "Bob Birch helps us to a healthy helping of hearty laughter about sex."

FIRST PRINTING of IMPROPER LIMERICKS: An Original Bawdy Collection (1997)
MY LOSS IS YOUR GAIN!

In 1997 I published the first printing of Improper Limericks. By January of 1998 the book had received it's first review... and it was devastating. In The Pentatatette, the newsletter of the Limerick Special Interest Group, Arthur Deex, showed no mercy in stating, "This is the kind of thing that the Evangelicals of the last century would have dubbed The Other Great Disappointment." Being a purist when it comes to sticking to proper limerick form, he further explains, "The problem lies with the metre..or lack thereof." Well, spell it "meter" or "metre", he was right... at least for some of my limericks.

I think the majority of the limericks in this original printing are still rhythmical and conform to the proper style, and the others, though somewhat out of synch, are not so far off as to make them unreadable. Arthur Deex says, "Believe me, reading them aloud will drive you crazy." I think that is a gross exaggeration, but should one's mental health be at risk, it would seem that sanity can easily be preserved simply by reading the limericks silently!

The book was originally priced at $7.95, but (not wanting to add insult to injury) I have compassionately slashed the price for these not-so-perfect limericks to $2.75 (plus postage)!

SECOND PRINTING of IMPROPER LIMERICKS: An Original Bawdy Collection (1998)
THE REVISED/EXPANDED EDITION

This revised edition contains all the original 127 limericks, but almost all have been rewritten to improve their metre. In addition, 24 brand new limericks were added, bringing the total over 150. This 1998 edition sells for $7.95, with a reduced price if bought in bulk (e.g., as a bachelor party or fraternity party favor).

In convertibles she was quite brash,
When she put her feet up on the dash.
            As a trucker drove by,
            Her bare crotch caught his eye,
And four people were killed in the crash.

In the expansion of the original limericks book, among the new additions were 4 limericks that address "The Crisis in the White House." One of these reads:

It started on Capitol Hill,
That the right has gone in for the kill.
            A Starr fell from the sky,
            Will slick Willie slide by,
And does Monica's dress show a spill?

THE SECOND PRINTING OF IMPROPER LIMERICKS, BUT WITHOUT SHRINK-WRAPPING AND SOME VERY SLIGHT COVER DAMAGE. TEXT IS STILL QUITE READABLE . . . A GREAT WAY TO SAVE A BIT OF MONEY, AND STILL HAVE SOME GOOD CLEAN DIRTY FUN.

Your price for this slightly injured book . . . ONLY $4.95 plus postage.

MORE IMPROPER LIMERICKS: Thirty Dirty Ditties (1998)

A short sequel containing 30 all new original limericks. Among the "dirty" limericks appears this hot original:

With the heat of their passion quite high,
In the dark she had grabbed the K-Y,
            But her burning desire,
            Quickly set him on fire,
When she smeared that Ben-Gay on the guy.  

This small, spiral bound little book costs only $3.00 plus postage.

STILL MORE IMPROPER LIMERICKS: Writings of a Limerick Addict (1998)

Thirty-five more original limericks, some bawdy, some not. In his humor, Dr. Birch does not ignore the recent attention being paid to Viagra.

On Viagra was old man Muldoon,
When he went on his third honeymoon.
             Morning coffee was brewin',
            When he started in screwin',
And he finished at twelve o'clock noon.

This small, spiral bound little book costs only $3.25 plus postage.

LIMERICKS FOR LECHERS: Lascivious Lyrics, Rambling Ruminations & Titillating Trivia (1999)

Limericks for Lechers* is a naughty collection of over 610 original limericks by the author, over 40 dirty ditties by contemporary limerists and over 100 raunchy old favorites... including several variations of the well-endowed "Man from Nantucket". However, the 250 pages of this 8" X 10" book contains more than just limericks. There is a wonderful variety of sexy quotes, a fascinating survey of what old medical books said about sex, a healthy helping of delightful sexual trivia, and much much more. Over 60 resources were used, some new, some old. The author has illustrated the book with over 90 line drawings, admitting that he does much better with buns than with hands or feet. Not everything in this book is dirty, but most is.

There once was a woman named Sutton,
Who played night and day with her button.
             When asked why she did,
            She mentioned her id,
And confessed to just being a glutton.

The price of this big book of adult fun is only $17.95

*You don't have to be a lecher to enjoy the book...but it helps!

Limerist Albin Chaplin writes, "I received Limericks for Lechers and was pleasantly surprised to find another fine book had been added to limerick lore. I was especially pleased with the layout, art work and commentary."

Limerist "Cap'n Bean" writes, "Containing lots and lots of limericks, along with a vast amount of trivia, facts, stories and tales, this book will provide enjoyment for any adult who appreciates humorous tales, fun facts, and bawdy limericks. If you like laughing at the humorous side of human sexuality, you will enjoy this book."

Sexuality Counselor Cynthia Ruberg writes, "I couldn't believe all the interesting, educational and fun stuff that was packed into this book. The limericks were great and I even found myself laughing at the clean ones. I would highly recommend this book to any adult who likes dirty limericks, sexual information, and fascinating sexy trivia."

Limericks for Lechers has been the featured book on the LOONEY LIMERICKS book list.

Order Now for any one publication or to take advantage of one of the special offers.

Inquire about bulk prices if ordering for a bookstore or other purchases of 5 or more of the same book. Have a question, ask.

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DON'T MISS OUT ON THE FUN. DISCOVER WHY ACKLINDA HAD A VIBRATOR IN HER EAR!

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