On this page dedicated to sexual and erotic fantasy, you will find:
- An Article titled Your Sexual Fantasies
- Cyborgasm CDs - highly explicit audio erotica
- Fantasy & Female Masturbation - short 9-minute DVD that is a classic!
- Live Orgasms in Concert - real couples, real orgasms set to music on CD
- Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasies - turning fantasy into reality
- Dulce Amore - Erotic short stories on CD
- Dirty Old Man - Amateur man masturbates for woman's "show and tell" fantasy
- Used books on Sexual Secrets and Erotic Fantasies
- Fantasy resources
Your Sexual Fantasies
Robert W. Birch, Ph.D. Certified Sexologist & Adult Sexuality Educator Have you ever given much thought to the differences between the sexual fantasies typically conjured up by men and women? Men, it seems, tend to have more sexual fantasies than women and these are more likely to be paired with masturbation. Men, by nature being visual, are likely to create graphic images of women's sexual bodies and imagine watching them, seducing them or, quite often, being seduced by them. For a male, the story line of a fantasy is uaually quite genital and accompanied with explicit visual images.
Women, in general, fantasize less than their male counterparts. Those women who do fantasize are typically less visual in their sexual fantasies, are usually less focused on genitals, and are more likely to construct a story with the emotional feelings of a romantic encounter. Women also tend to involve more olfactory and auditory memories... memories of smells and sounds. To be sure, however, there are women who masturbate to their fantasies, be they romantic or erotic.
Sexual fantasies can serve many purposes. They can induce sexual desire, maintain sexual arousal, enhance the sexual experience, trigger an orgasm, and preserve a memory.
The desire to be sexual is not something controlled by a switch and easily turned on following the eleven o'clock news. Many people, particularly as they age or as a relationship matures, find that the easy turn ons occur less frequently, particularly late at night. On those occasions when time is limited, fantasies can serve to focus attention on the anticipated erotic event and help induce the desire for sexual intimacy.
More than one person has told me, "I'm not able to get excited on a moment's notice. I need time to psych myself up." To induce desire, you can think ahead about what you would like to experience and what you and your partner will give and receive. Imagine the sexual encounter is your very first, but without those initial anxieties, and let it be, in your mind, a new and exciting adventure. Recall the good sexual feelings you have experienced and mentally reminisce about those most memorable past encounters. Conjure up the memory of a partner's warmth, softness, and gentle touch. See your partner's face in your mind's eye and recall that person's sounds of pleasure and the aroma of their excitement. Include only the graphic images you are comfortable with.
Desire can be induced mutually throughout the day, with, for example, a phone call to say, "I've been thinking of your wonderful body." The mid-day message, "You won't believe what I want to do to you tonight," might stir the erotic imagination of both partners, causing each to spend the day thinking of the possibilities in store for that night.
For those without a partner, fantasies during the day can become the prelude for an episode of self-loving that evening. Self-stimulation, the normal, natural way of experiencing solitary pleasure, is a healthy outlet for many who are alone. Fantasy during the day can certainly prepare you for the quiet celebration of your own sexual response.
Most of us have had the experience of beginning a sexual encounter, only to find our minds wandering off to the worries of the day or the pressing issues of tomorrow. Erotic fantasy can maintain arousal by pushing away the intrusive nonsexual thoughts. When distractions hit, we need only focus on a pleasant sexual memory or project an exciting visual image on our mental movie screen. Fantasies can be of our current sexual partner, but often they will revolve around persons from the past, coworkers, movie stars, or attractive strangers. Bringing others into fantasies is normal and is justified if it serves the current relationship by eliminating distractions that would otherwise dampen or destroy the passion. Obviously, if someone feels guilty about including others in his or her fantasy script, they should be left out. Some people like a cast of thousands, while others want to focus exclusively on their current partner.
Many people worry about their fantasies being too "kinky", but such fantasies are really quite common. Unusual fantasies can help maintain arousal and are harmless if there is no compulsion to actually experience an act that would be emotionally or physically harmful to oneself or to others. Whereas honesty is usually the best policy, discretion must be used in the sharing of some unusual fantasies or fantasies involving other people. It is rare that a couple can share such deep, dark, private thoughts without, at best, a little discomfort. Too often the reaction upon hearing a partner's most kinky fantasy is one of jealousy or distrust, if not anger and disgust.
One woman playfully imagined that her partner's penis was enormous, and reported how she would visualize engulfing this gigantic imaginary erection into her body. In her mind she would privately marveled at her vagina's ability to swallow up this massive tool. She quickly acknowledged, however, that she had no desire to experience anything that large in real life, but she did enjoy embellishing her fantasy with the thoughts of dressing this impressive male member in doll's clothing and taking it for walks in the park. During her sexual encounters, this fantasy helped rivet her attention on the pleasure she was feeling from the very adequate, reasonably-sized penis of her partner.
One night, this woman decided that it would be fun to share her giant penis fantasy with her partner. To her utter surprise, the man was devastated upon hearing her playful musings! He began worrying that she had been with men who had larger penises than his, fearing that these well-endowed men must have please her more than he could ever hope to do. He erroneously assumed that she could not enjoy his average-sized penis, and began to feel totally inadequate as her lover. Fearing he could not satisfy this woman, he backed off sexually. When he did try, he felt self-conscious and, as a result, often failed to become erect. This, of course, led to more avoidance and self-degradation.
In couples therapy this man worked on understanding that his partner's fantasy had nothing to do with his genital size or sexual performance, but made their shared intimacy more exciting for her. In our last therapy session he began laughing and, when questioned, shared his own "pet" fantasy. He had for many years fantasized he was making love to a virgin and that her vagina was the town's tightest. Both agreed that they loved each other, loved the sexuality they shared, and would never again ask about the private fantasies each used to dispel the occasional intruding distractions. The also learned that in reality, tight vaginas and large penises are immaterial when a relationship is based on love and mutual respect.
The consequences of disclosure were more serious for another couple. The man fantasized about having sex with his wife's younger married sister. While he found the sister attractive, he had no illusions about her commitment to her husband and would never, in reality, make a pass at her. When he shared his fantasy, however, his wife expressed anger and disbelief. She became extremely uncomfortable whenever her sister was around and believed that she had to watch them both closely for any signs of subtle flirtation. Angry that she now felt distrusting, not only of her husband, but of her sister as well, she chose to end her marriage with the man rather than further damage her relationship with her sister. The fantasy proved to be too close, too personal, and too threatening.
Many shared fantasies, however, enhance desire and maintain arousal. One night a man entered a singles bar, propped himself up on a bar stool and slowly rotated, carefully surveying the women around him. Apparently no one caught his eye, so he turned his back on the scene and sipped quietly on his drink. About fifteen minutes later, a woman walked in. As her eyes adjusted to the darkened room, she also scrutinized the crowd. She wandered around a bit, being careful not to make eye contact with any of the men scattered around the room. After a few minutes of aimless wandering, she moved up beside the man who was seemingly intent on nursing his drink. Sliding between him and the person sitting next to him, she leaned toward the bar to catch the bartender's attention. As she did, the man felt her breast brush lightly across his arm, but he did not look her way.
After being served, the woman stepped back, drink in hand, and stood behind the man. Aware of her presence, the man turned and looked into her eyes. His unoriginal inquiry, "Do you come her very often?" was met with an abrupt, "No!" As he turned toward her, his leg came to rest against her thigh. She made no attempt to avoid the contact, but waited for him to continue his attempt to initiate conversation. Awkwardly he asked, "What do you do for fun?" Both grinned at her response, "I pick up strange men in singles bars." At this point the drink he had been nursing so patiently was gulped down in record time and he asked her to dance. She played at being reluctant, but allowed him to convince her. On the dance floor, they danced as though each was covered by porcupine quills and a large man on a Harley-Davidson could have driven between them. As they continued to dance, however, they moved closer until, from a distance, it looked as though their bodies had blended into one.
As they left together he asked, "Shall we take your car or mine?" Again giggling, they took his car to the nearest motel, where he produced a bottle of wine from an ice bucket on the back seat. Ralph and Mary, who had been married for three years, were acting out their shared fantasy. Once in the room, Mary enticed Ralph into seducing her slowly, pretending uncertainty. "I really don't know if I should!" she said coyly as he pretended clumsiness, fumbling to unbutton her blouse and acting bewildered by the complexities of the one-handed unsnapping of a push-up bra.
During their lovemaking, Mary intentionally cried out, "Oh Bill, you make me feel so good," and in the morning, Ralph pretended to have completely forgotten her name. It was a night not soon forgotten, providing the erotic content for many fantasies that followed.
Novelty can get lost in long-term relationships. When a couple becomes comfortable and familiar with each other sexually, they often forget to be romantic. The entire sexual scenario might become routine, taking place at the same time of the day, in the same location, and all too often in a hurry to completion. While it might be impractical for most of us to make love on a beach, in fantasy we can imagine the sound of the ocean, the warmth of the sand beneath our body, and the excitement of making love under the stars. Perhaps yours will be a fantasy of making love in the woods, or in an old barn, or in the backseat of a car you had as a teenager.
Some fantasies can be acted out, e.g., a pick up in a grocery store. But most fantasies are just private thoughts that need not have a complex storyline, or a cast of hundreds. Working too hard at building a sexual fantasy can become a distraction, defeating one of its purposes. The best fantasies are often quite simple and tied in with pleasant memories. Often it is visual, creating a mental image of a part of the partner's body that is pleasing to look at, but impossible to see in the dark or in a particular position. At times words can be added to the fantasy while forming the mental image "I love your buns."
Special fantasies can be saved for those times when an orgasm is a bit elusive. These favorites can often add the final bit of excitement needed to trigger a powerful climax. Search your inventory of fantasies. Is there one that is particularly powerful? A favorite that is best saved for the climax? If you discover that you have a trigger fantasy, use it sparingly so as not to wear it out. When you are close to orgasm and hovering on the brink, call up that trigger.
It is nice in the afterglow of a loving and lustful encounter to snuggle together and reminisce. Images of the encounter can then be stored for later retrieval to induce desire, maintain arousal, or even trigger an orgasm. Fantasies serve many functions from getting started to getting finished. Remember, sexual fantasies before, during and after a sexual encounter are normal, natural and often helpful in changing a routine experience into a new and exciting event.
© 2001
The CYBORGASM CDs These CDs were the first collection of erotic sessions recorded in Virtual 3-D Audio. Each CD is a one hour anthology of explicit audio erotica designed to bring your sexual imagination to life. The erotic tracks on each CD feature sexual scenarios that will draw you and so that you actually feel a part of, or a witness to the action right there in your room. At times it will seem that someone is beside you, whispering in your ear. Feed your fantasy with one or both of these CDs. which are currently out of stock and might be out of production.
Yes, some people still do have tape recorders and listen to cassettes. Buy both Cyborgasm I and II on audio tape, and pay what you would pay for only one Cyborgasm CD! Get the two tapes with the same 3D sound and pay only $10.00 plus the postage. You will not beat that deal anywhere on the Internet!
Fantasy - Female Masturbation
A short 9-minute DVD that is a classic! This sensual (but explicit) video was filmed in 1983 and portrays a woman masturbating manually and with a vibrator as she fantasizes about oral sex and intercourse with a real or imagined partner. Add this unique DVD to your collection for only $2.50 plus postage.
Live Orgasms in Concert CD
Orgasmic sounds from real couples synthesized with music. Idea for fantasy, a background for self-pleasuring, or for setting the mood for making love.Elsewhere for as much as
$20.00. OUR PRICE $14.95 plus postage and handling
Purely Natural CD
Purely Natural CD, a mix of natural sounds exotically intertwined with REAL orgasms. The perfect background for a romantic evening, sensual massage or passionate love.Elsewhere for as much as
$20.95. OUR PRICE $14.95 plus postage and handling
Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy
How to Turn Your Fantasies Into Reality
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This book has it all for a playful, imaginative sex life that turns both of you on! It covers subjects like: role-play, fantasy and fetish ideas, how far to go with fantasies, threesomes without jealousy, sex parties and swinging, sex in public, S/M, games, stripping, lap dances, talking dirty, taking photographs, and more! By author Violet Blue who also wrote The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio and The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus. Soft Cover, 9 x 6, 256 Pages, Suggested price$14.95, OUR PRICE $12.95
SOUNDS OF EROTICA
Dulce Amore
Click for Larger Image Soft, sexy stories on CD
The CD is about an hour long, with 9 separate stories to listen to. Story subjects cover a variety of interests. Each tract has a short storyline build up and then talks in graphic detail about sex. The stories come in 3 flavors: Sugar, Spice and Spank. Sugar is sweet and sexy - the language is less explicit. Spice gets you hot and bothered - it has explict language. Spank ventures into a few fetish sitations and the language is definately more explicit.
This CD is the Sugar Series. Suggested Retail Price is
$19.95and sells on the Internet for up to $21.95.
Our Price is just $15.95!LEARN MUCH MORE or order now
Go here for a male masturbation DVD burned from an aging man's home video. This amateur production has an interesting origin, having started from the letter of a frustrated middle-aged woman. The DVD is low cost and is offered for a mature woman's "show and tell" fantasy.
The DVD runs 20 minutes, with the man demonstrating his style of masturbation from beginning to ecstasy. In the process he shares his thoughts and feelings. This is a no-frills, low-cost production that will appeal to women who are tired of young studs with massive erections . . . or at least want some variety to satisfy their visual curiosity.
Take your sexual pleasure out of the house. Learn about the Wireless Remote Vibrating Egg
Click on the banner to learn of Sexy Lingerie at EdenFantasy.com
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USED BOOKS ON THE TOPIC OF SEXUAL SECRETS AND EROTIC FANTASY
Your Sexual Secrets: When to keep them, when and how to tell by Marty Klein, Ph.D., Sex Therapist.
This book tells how sexual secrets can hold back a relationship; how to decide whether or not to tell your lover; and how to go about sharing if you decide to tell.Dr. Klein explores the many secrets that people keep about their sexuality, including turn-ons, fantasies, the fact that they masturbate, their true level of sexual desire, performance fears, and so on.
Published in 1988, 241 pages, 5.5 X 8.5,Hardcover with dust jacket with small label on spine. Near perfect with typical dust jacket shealf wear for a used book. Original price $18.95 - used $6.95 plus postage and handling.
The Fantasy Game: How male and female sexual fantasies affect our lives by Dr. Peter Dally.
In this book Dr. Dally, noted psychiatrist, provides a close-up examination of men's and women's most private daydreams, and goes on to relate the many unsuspected ways in which sexual fantasies affect an individual's life, a couple's relationship and society's mores. The author asks the question, "Can loving couples take advantage of fantasies to improve their sex lives?"
This 1975 200-page 6.25"X9.25" book has is a hardback with dust cover.The dust cover shows some wear, but no significant tears. A name is stamped inside the book. The pages are clean and the binding tight. The book originally was priced at $10.00, but as a used book is priced at $5.00 plus postage and handling.
The Best Sex I Ever Had: Real people recall their most erotic experiences by Steven & Iris Finz.
Better than fantasy, learn the excitement found by others in their most erotic encounters. The authors write, "You may think that your sex is already as good as it can get, but this can never be true. No matter how terrific your relationship is, there will always be room for it to get better." They hope their book will stir your fantasy and show you how to make your sex life much more exciting.
This books was published in 1992 and has 238 5.5"X8.5" pages. It has a hardcover and dusk jacket with a small tear at top of the spine and tear on back cover inside flap, It is in near perfect condition, but with the typical wear one would expect with a used book. The original price was $18.95, but used the price is $6.95 plus postage and handling.
LEARN ABOUT THE CYBERSEX DVD
A short short story about a brief encounter, but a powerful fantasy
A good way to add novelty to your life is through sexual fantasy. Reading erotica can spice up one's fantasy life and this in turn feeds sexual desire. Turn on with this Love & Lust Special offer. Check out this Love & Lust special offer.
Build fantasy material by reading the 400-page erotic novel SETTLING THE SCORE. Discover sexual situations you might only have wondered about. Learn what others might do and day dream about how that would feel to you.
DON'T MISS OUT ON THE FUN. ORDER TODAY AND DISCOVER WHY ACKLINDA HAD A VIBRATOR IN HER EAR!
GUIDE TO ALL THE EROTICA ON THIS SITE
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