WOMEN AND SOUNDS OF ECSTASY

Making a Joyful Noise

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D.

ACS Certified Sexologist

The sensual women at Tritriad Productions wrote:

We started Live Orgasms in Concert 18 months ago and we did it for fun. We thought it sounded great and loved the end result. However, since we put it on the market we have had incredible results selling the CD, but more important than that is the feedback we have been getting. It seems that women who have had trouble expressing themselves verbally are finally expressing themselves after listening to the CD.
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So here is the question: Why is it when women hear other women making love they become more verbal? As far as that goes why is it that so many women are so quiet when they consider it so erotic to hear their partner? From the e-mails we have been getting the CD is almost therapeutic for so many. How could that be?

What a fascinating question . . . how can hearing others in the midst of ecstasy free up the listener's own vocalizations? To begin to anwser this question, let us first look at why some people (men and women) are so quiet when making love.

Most people discovered and explored their sexuality through private masturbation, many beginning early in their teens. If one is feeling pleasure and experiencing orgasm in his or her bedroom at home or the restroom at school, it is most likely that the masturbator will want to remain quiet and secretive. It is also true that a large number of individuals have their early sexual encounters in the family room, with parents in another part of the house. Again, the avoidance of sounds is understandably essential.

Most people have grown up with the message (either taught or assumed) that sex is both private and secret. As children, we do not hear people having sex and so we do not learn the sounds that are made during passionate lovemaking. Parents work hard to keep it private and secret from their children. It is the secret part that can get in the way, for even as adults in a consensual relationship, some people continue to keep their pleasure a closely guarded secret from their partner.

There are those who have felt the need to sanitize their sexual expression, to avoid anything that would seem "dirty" or "lustful." Many have grown up with the message that seeking pleasure is wrong, and that when making love the man must always be on top, it must be in the dark, and it must be extremely quiet. There has been a message that "good girls" don't moan? Have the porn films given the impression that only "bad girls" make sounds, and these are fake exaggerated and scripted cries of pleasure? Is it not feminine to squeal, to pant, to make "animal" sounds? For some, even soft purring might violate the bedroom's quiet zone.

It is true that women, in general, are typically more responsive to sounds than men (who tend to be more responsive to visual images), although there are always exceptions to such stereotypes. Most women will acknowledge a warm reaction to the sounds of love . . . gentle and soft whispers of affection and desire. In our society, this is usually what we hear in films and on TV. Erotic poetry and love songs can be a turn on . . . but with sexual sounds, many have only hear the harsh exaggerated sounds of the porn star who responds on the director's cue.

It was stated that listening to Live Orgasms in Concert ". . . is almost therapeutic for so many." There is an old principle that is still being taught to novice sex therapists, a lesson referred to as the PLISSIT Model. This model says that good therapy always begins with Permission! This is the giving of the important message that sexuality is OK, that pleasure is good, that freedom of expression has value. Only after permission is given would a therapist move on to giving Limited Information. Since sexual ignorance is one of the major sexual problems, giving permission and some limited information is what a lot of people need . . . and this is all they need. If more is required to deal with a sexual concern, the sex therapist would offer Specific Suggestion, and if that is not enough, would then move into Intensive Therapy.

Hearing real orgasms, softened and blended with erotic music and other natural sensual sounds, gives the listener gentle permission to discover their own vocalizations. In addition, the message can also be a powerful turn on. Thus. there is permission to free up one's own natural sounds, but also to become aroused by the sounds of others. Sex is not secret! Pleasure is not forbidden. Hearing the orgasms of others is allowed, and women are generally more comfortable with the sounds of other woman than men are with the sounds of other men. Perhaps some men feel competitive or a bit homophobic.

I have come to believe that the sounds of pleasure and ecstasy are very natural and innate sounds, but many people (both men and women) have learned to suppressed these vocalizations and conditioned themselves to stifle any "primitive" noises. These CDs give permission to rediscover what has been buried. One woman, in therapy, stated that her mother actually told her, "It is OK to have sex in marriage, just have the decency not to enjoy it!" However, sex is to be enjoyed and good sex can become quite noisy . . . a lone, with a partner or in a group.

Here is a specific suggest for those who listen, feel the need to unleash their own sounds, but still feel blocked. While listening to the sounds of others, pretend! I am certainly not suggesting that you fake pleasure. What I am suggesting is that you practice. Here is an old piece of advice: "Fake it until you make it!" This is based on the idea that it is easier to act your way into a feeling, than it is to feel your way into an action."

Many will just naturally open up upon hearing sounds of pleasure, but if you do not feel that action, act. In most cases, as you begin to consciously vocalize, you will start to sense something deep inside that feels very natural. Eventually, your sounds will no longer be pretend, and you will be amazed at how this will enrich your sex life.

I have also come to believe that the best sex happens when we drop all barriers, undo all inhibitions, and relax all restrictions that have been ingrained by our society. If we hold back in any way, we diminish our experience of total pleasure. Holding back sounds will cost us something . . . and it also costs the relationship, for in good sex, each partner finds pleasure in the other's pleasure. Our sounds of ecstasy speak louder and say more than any words could express.

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., ACS Certified Sexologist
Retired Sex Therapist & Sex Educator

ABOUT TRI TRIAD PRODUCTIONS

Trintriad Production started developing Live Orgasms in Concert with one single concept in mind - to create a music CD that is a sex music CD, an erotic music CD, as well as an extremely sensual music CD all in ONE. This was accomplished by listening to over 1,000 hours of music. After much deliberation they came up with the songs and a musician for this sensual music CD.

Over the period of a year, over 100 hours of real live orgasms and other sensual sounds from REAL couples were recorded. No actors or actresses were involved. Once this was accomplished, they carefully took the recordings of the live orgasms and mixed them to music . . . the end result being an extremely sensual and erotic music collection.

Tri Triad Productions has a vision and that is to create a whole new genre of music called orgasmic music.

Visit their exciting site at Trintriad Production.com


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Live Orgasms in Concert CD

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Orgasmic sounds from real couples synthesized with sensual and erotic music. Idea for fantasy, a background for self-pleasuring, or for setting the mood for making love.

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Purely Natural CD

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Purely Natural CD, a mix of natural sounds exotically intertwined with REAL orgasms. The perfect background for a romantic evening, sensual massage or passionate love.

Elsewhere for as much as $20.95. OUR PRICE $14.95 plus postage and handling

Purely Natural CD  -  Quantity

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